Hitting, power struggles, defiance; every child can be difficult at times. But what should you do when your youngster's angry displays are too frequent, too intense, or too destructive?

Do What I Say Not What I Do!

First, begin addressing the situation by taking an honest look at your own anger level. Most often, when a child has difficulty with anger, significant people in that child' life do too. One of the best things you can do is to model the behavior you would like your child to learn. No child can learn effective anger management if the adults in their lives don't have that skill well developed.

Teach them the skills they need

Children need to learn all sorts of social skills. Some of the most important ones are: respectfully asking for what they want, tolerating "No", and calming oneself down when life gets to be tough. In fact, these are the specific anger management skills that we all need regardless of our age. When your child has a meltdown, it can be an excellent "teachable moment".

Is something else going on?

Sometimes anger can function as a cover for other feelings. Sadness, fear, shame and guilt, can all be part of the picture of being a young person. These feelings can be the hidden fuel behind a child's anger. If you're unsure about whether or not this is the case consider asking your child.

Don't take the bait!

You know that it's only a matter of time before your child tests your patience. Since you know that this test is coming, why not prepare for it. You can plan out your response in advance. Prepare exactly what you will say and do, so that you are not caught off guard. If you need help with your specific relationship, seek the help of a professional counselor who can help teach you the skills you need to master the situation.